Junior Park Ranger of Yellowstone National Park

Grand Prismatic Spring, June 29th, 2019 – one of the best sights I ever did see.

I think one of the coolest things about Yellowstone is that whether you've been there or not, you know it's awesome. Its reputation precedes it. And I'd be willing to bet that at least 9.5 out of every ten people who haven't been, want to go someday.

But if you've been to Yellowstone and lived to tell the tales of it, then you've resisted all temptation to touch the most colorful, cool-looking, piping-hot water you've ever seen. You've walked alongside boiling, bubbling waters, splashing, gurgling waters, silky cascading waters, waters that rocket and out of the ground hundreds of feet in the air. And beasts. You've seen big, brown, burly beasts, roaming free, causing traffic, wagging tails, grazing grass. Maybe bears, burnt trees, creatures you've never seen before. And those are just a few features you can expect to find in America's first national park. 

I went for the first time this past June. Didn't have nearly enough time there. I decided to become a Junior Park Ranger because I had such a blast doing it earlier in my trip at other NPS locations, but Yellowstone's Junior Ranger booklet is no joke. It's real work, and really educational. Costs you $3 to see if you've got what it takes. And they even have their own branded mini-golf-size pencils to go with it. They want you to complete one page for every year old you are, so let's just say, I had to complete the entire booklet. I actually just finished it last night. I won't get sworn in by a ranger in the park (bummer), but once I mail it in, they'll send my hard-earned Junior Ranger patch or badge. Any other adults out there who enjoy activities intended for children? I highly recommend going to any NPS site and giving this a try. It lets you experience the park on a more interactive level.

To become a Junior Park Ranger of Yellowstone National Park, you must attend at least one ranger-led program. I wasn't sure I was going to get to do that because, well, I fly by the seat of my pants—I can't be shackled within the confines of group tours or things like that, they tend to cramp my style. So, I left my ranger booklet in the car because I wasn't sure that I was worthy of Yellowstone's Junior Park Ranger badge. Enter Ranger Karl.

I knew, based on the prediction at the visitor center, that Old Faithful was due to erupt within the next 10-15 minutes. So I scurried up the hill among the throngs of eager-beaver tourists. And when I reached the top, I discovered a massive—I'm gonna guess—450-person horseshoe, crowding around the edge boardwalk. They were all facing what looked like a tire-sized hole in the ground that was huffing and puffing out smoke like a steam locomotive. I walked along the back row of people, some of whom looked like they'd been baking out there in the sun since the last eruption 80-some-odd minutes ago until I found a crack in the crowd that I could squeeze my little self through. Since most folks mistake me for an adolescent when I'm not wearing any makeup, I figured everyone would just assume I was making my way back to mommy and daddy.

I plopped myself right down on the rim of the boardwalk, legs dangling like the rest of 'em, just itching for that blowhole to go. And as luck would have it, of all the areas for a park ranger to come and stand to give a talk, Ranger Karl stood right behind me. What are the odds?! He was cool, confident, and funny, and he really knew his stuff. "We've been studying geysers since the 1200s, but didn't really understand what was happening underground until 1991, when a group of scientists put a video camera down inside Old Faithful—or I'm assuming it was their intern that put the camera down there." Everyone laughed. I idolized him instantly.

Did you know that there are more than 900 active geysers in the world and Yellowstone boasts over 500 of them?! Did you know that Old Faithful isn't even Yellowstone's biggest geyser, but it's probably the most popular because it's the most predictable? Every 90 minutes (give or take a few) over 8,000 gallons of superheated water shoots 130+ feet in the air for several minutes. These geysers are the primary reason why Yellowstone became America's first national park in 1872. I always thought it was because of Grand Prismatic Spring, (pictured above) because it's, well, so unbelievably gorgeous and wild looking. By the way, each of those colors you see represents a different temperature of water. I learned that one from my Junior Park Ranger workbook. Can you guess which one's the hottest? I was surprised to learn that it's the blue, coming in at 198° F. The yellow is 147°, orange is 120°, brown is 110°, and green is 95°. 

So just before Old Faithful spewed, Ranger Karl wrapped up his educational talk with, "Thank you very much for your time, and I invite you all to enjoy our next prediction for Old Faithful and please go out, adventure and explore throughout the rest of Yellowstone National Park. If anybody has any questions, please feel free to pick my brain. I will be at the back of the group, and if anybody has a Junior Ranger book that needs signing, I am more than happy to do that for you. Thank you all so much for your time and have a wonderful rest of your day here at Yellowstone National Park." Book signing?! Ranger talk?! It was like he was speaking directly to me!

Also, notice that he didn't say, "If any of you kids have a junior ranger book…" he said, "if anybody has…" I think the rangers love swearing in adults who want to learn and engage with the park just as much as they love swearing in kids. And by the way, my whole inspiration (and even my knowledge of becoming a Junior Ranger) came from discovering the 103-year-old woman who decided to do it at Grand Canyon National Park.

But crap, my ranger book was in the car! Immediately after the glorious 3-minute eruption subsided, I booked it straight to Ranger Karl to learn more, and beg him to stick around for another few minutes while I ran to grab my booklet for him to sign. My few questions for Ranger Karl led to a whole new crowd gathering around him just chomping at the bit for more lore. Call me a narcissist, but I felt like I inspired others to ask questions by approaching him to learn more. It was really cool. 

Together, we learned that every mountain, at one point, was a volcano. Actually, most of the ground we walk on, whether it seems mountainous or not, was once covered by volcanoes. We also learned that all of Yellowstone is one giant volcano moving in the opposite direction that our continent is drifting. So many thousands of years down the road, Yellowstone itself could be in up in Montana or the Dakotas, or even—dare I say it—Canada! But that would probably be hundreds of thousands, if not, millions of years down the road, and we'd all probably be dead by then anyway because that thing will have erupted long before that. I was fascinated to learn that all of Yellowstone is one massive, active volcano and here we were just roaming all over it, eating grilled cheese sandwiches and buying bison stuffed animals.

Once there was a break in the conversation, I asked Ranger Karl if he'd be here for another three minutes so that I could run to my car quick, "…to get my Junior Ranger book for you to sign?" I asked with a nervous, childlike plea on my face. "Of course!" And more questions from other visitors followed, so I knew I was golden. But I still didn't want to keep the guy waiting. After all, it was Ranger Karl. A National Park Service ranger, armed with knowledge, a badge, in-case-of-emergency bear mace, and a walky-talky, wearing that iconic uniform and brimmed hat.

So I power walked back in the direction of my car, not wanting to immediately break into a sprint and cause alarm or draw attention to myself. Or worse, have Ranger Karl scold me like a lifeguard would a child for running around the pool. But once I knew that I was out of sight, I picked up the pace to an ungraceful, heavy-footed jog. Remembering how deep in the lot my car was parked, I hit the pavement even harder. My finger hit the unlock button ferociously as though whistling and saying, "Here, boy! Here! Here boy…"

Got it! Grabbed my booklet, the Yellowstone mini pencil and my now warm bottle of SmartWater that had been roasting in the passenger seat. Now, practically sprinting back with my Junior Park Ranger booklet and wheezing because, altitude sickness, I realized I needed to slow the heck down. So I did, still panting and now sweating all over my blank Junior Ranger booklet. How attractive and unrangerly. Nonetheless, I reached Ranger Karl just as his crowd was thinning out, and he happily signed my ranger book, labeling his ranger talk, "Geysers Galore." 

This weekend is the 103rd birthday of the U.S. National Park Service! Get out there and #findyourpark!