Hornet Spray

What were the first things you ran out to buy when you learned that the world as we know it was shutting down for a bit? I gave in to my baser instincts and swarmed the streets for the essentials: Nutella, pasta, and hornet spray. (I was already pretty stocked up on tie-dye and Goldfish.)

But I never would've made my purchase of two cans of 27-foot-range, Spectracide hornet spray had it not been for the chance encounter I had on November 10th, 2019 on the Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway with a lovely stranger named Kathy. It was my first time in North Carolina. (I say it with a Southern twang as I type it.) And I was cruising solo in a white convertible Camaro with the top down and the keys around my neck for safekeeping—that's my new move every time I rent a car and drive it far from where its spare might live.

I was pulling into every scenic pullout I saw because not a single one was to be passed by, and that's where I met Kathy and her tiny white dog whose name I could've heard 64 times and probably never would've remembered. "Wow, look at you in that! Aren't you cold? How much fun is it? That's my dream car you're driving!" Kathy spoke so comfortably – like she knew me. I love it when people feel comfortable enough to speak to me that way. Just dive right in – no warm-up necessary. "Actually, I'm never cold, and I'm completely obsessed with this car…never ever going to give it back." 

We chatted for a bit about my hot rental, my wild road trip, her car that was bursting at the bolts with all kinds of goodies, like clothes, magazines, maps, and snacks. The clutter of her car reminded me of my purse, my favorite junk drawer, and my mind. Kathy had a-little-longer-than-shoulder-length wavy, brown hair, brown eyes, blueish-purple eyeliner, and she wore a business casual outfit with white sneakers. She was a hardworking, thoughtful, personable woman and for sure, a chatty Kathy. She showed me pictures of a sunset she'd seen a few nights before, along the Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway, and she explained every background detail in her sweet Southern twang.

We stood and talked for a while, admiring the view with her little white dog, when suddenly, something made her ask me if I was "packin'." "Am I what?" I asked sincerely, but with a laughing smile. "You've got a gun on you when you travel, right?" I had most definitely never been asked this before, and I was so amused and amazed by it. "Oh, no, no…I don't own a gun…I don't even think I'd be able to carry one where I'm from…maybe I could… I'm not really sure...but no, I'm not packin'," I said with a smile. "You mean to tell me you're out here driving all over God's creation without so much as a weapon for protection?! Petite, young woman like you, all by yourself?!" "Ummm…I might have a Swiss army knife somewhere in my purse…" Kathy scoffed at that, "Girl, whatchu gonna do with a Swiss army knife if somebody runs up on you and—oh, come with me, I've got somethin' for you." She practically dove headfirst into her passenger seat to hunt, "I usually carry two, so if I can find it, I'll give you my spare, but what you do is, you just keep a can of this here hornet spray either in the glove box or on the seat right next to you…course it'd be helpful if I took my own advice…where in tarnation is it?! Found it!" 

She whipped out a massive can that looked like hairspray from the 80s except this one was red, black, and yellow and had deadly hornet imagery on it. Kathy led me and her pooch over to a clearing on the grass, ripped the top off that sucker and talked me through it, "Be sure to extend your arm all the way, make sure you're aiming it the right way, this stuff can incapacitate a man on the spot! Blind him in the blink of an eye, maybe even kill him." I was suddenly nervous that she was about to shoot this thing out in the open even though there wasn't a soul within a few hundred feet, and the spray couldn't reach more than 27 feet anyway. But was it safe for the grass? The precious NPS grass? I had to assume so. Kathy seemed to know her way around America's most beautiful parkway and a can of hornet spray. And man, when she hit the button, I could not believe how far that hornet-killing, human-blinding juice shot out! 

And Kathy's words and her demonstration have stuck with me ever since. I've spread the word far and wide and in particular to anyone who really wishes they had a gun during these...times of uncertainty. I find it fascinating; the mental impact our current status is having on many people. The effect it's had on the masses is interesting as well, but I'm more intrigued by the psychological repercussions it's having on each and every one of us and what drives some to run out and buy guns (or hornet spray) or way more TP than they really need. Where these behaviors come from is intriguing, but being mindful of our own impulses, not behaving blindly as though on autopilot, and instead, making conscious, meditative choices…well, that's the work I've been practicing for the past few years through various meditation methods. It's taken me a few years of practicing to really understand that what I do (or don't do) in those 10-20 minutes a day can and should be applied to everything I do outside of those 10-20 minutes. That's really what it's for: improving our relationships (with ourselves and everyone in our lives) and having more genuine experiences of everything that appears within consciousness. It is possible to free yourself from the internal reaction that arises when you hear a certain stat, see a particular name, feel a particular memory flash through your body...it doesn't have to take hold of you. You can get off the ride and put yourself on a new one anytime.

I'll stop myself before I get preachy, but I'll end with this: now is the perfect time to embrace a new practice, learn something that intrigues you, pay attention to what's going on within you, start that project you've been wanting to start. This forced downtime threw off everyone's plans – even postponed or canceled many of them. It's ok to be pissed about that for a little, but try to think of it as a redirection. Don't fight it – use it, embrace it. "Life happens while we're busy making grand plans for it." Take this mandatory timeout and do something constructive, something freeing, something rejuvenating with it. My #1 reco: download the Waking Up app (I don't get paid to say that) and try meditating. Stick with it, and it's very likely to change your outlook on life for the better.